We were five moms seated around two squashed together tables at Panera Bread one Friday evening. All of us, over thirty with multiple children, laughing like teenagers. Each mom had her own story to tell and her own story to live. But for one Friday evening those individual stories intersected in fellowship, friendship, food and fun.
Sharing from our hearts, we encouraged one another in this journey of motherhood and wifehood.
Interestingly enough, that night, the majority of women who gathered homeschool, but not all. Did this leave us at odds, resulting in an educational war? No, of course not. We weren't there to critique each other or compare ourselves to one another. Our hearts were joined in our common roles as mommas and wives. We were there to share, to learn from one another, and be encouraged.
As I returned home, I thought about how long it had been since I had experienced a night like this. Honestly, it had been a long time. Too long. I had needed this evening out with friends.
When the schedule gets demanding, finding time for an outing with other wives and moms can almost be impossible. Yet, it is vital that we try to connect with others in real life.
Having connections online is wonderful. This is not a bash or rant about online support. Honestly, sometimes due to geography or circumstances, the online community is the only support one can have. For those of us with no geographical issues, who are surrounded by other
families within a reasonable driving distance: this post is for us {because some days I need the reminder too}.
We need real life in our face momma friends.
We need another seeing with their very own eyes our mess and lovingly encouraging us anyway.
For you see, we all know we can hide our junk from the online world. We can crop the pic just so, give it the right angle, or change the tone of our words with editing. We can highlight our children's accomplishments, presenting an illusion that they never struggle.
In some ways, I agree with doing all of this. Love covers the mistakes of others. I am not in to publicizing my children's mistakes {Believe me, they make many. They take after me.} And, for the record, I tend to naturally be a positive person. My glass is almost always half full. I know, it is kind of irritating to those half empty glass people.
However, online interactions don't always offer what a IRL (in real life) friend can. IRL friends can tell from the tone of your voice the day you've had. They can see the weariness in your eyes, and come aside you to help. Sometimes, they can offer another perspective, because they have seen the whole situation.
If you don't have any IRL friends, then seek them. Befriend another. You may not 'click' instantly, but don't write them off immediately. We are each part of our own story, but a bigger and better one is written when our stories intertwine. Those other moms/wives are seeking to live their best story too - and that might just be where you find your first common thread.
~ Dorie
Oh, and if you make your way to Panera Bread one evening, try the Autumn Squash soup - delicious!
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