Embracing Homeschool Freedoms

Are you afraid to embrace the freedom homeschool offers?

Do you fear what others think?

If you do something different than school at home,
do you worry that your family and friends just won't understand?

Does doing something different, or being considered odd,
make you cringe?


What holds you back from embracing all the freedom
homeschooling offers?

Are you trying to homeschool like your friend
and it just isn't working for your family?

Do you think you've chosen the less than path
in homeschooling because of these choices?

There is diversity in homeschooling! 
Embrace your family's unique path.

There is opportunity to make changes,
and to do things differently.

Sure, you will make mistakes.  We all do.
{I know I have made plenty.}
Learn from your mistakes, and make the necessary changes.
Learn from others' mistakes as well.
{Sometimes, I think those that have messed up a lot,
have more to teach us than those who did it all correctly the first time.}

As we close out one school year,
and begin planning for another,
it is a fabulous time to embrace your family's freedom,
making the changes you need to for your family.

Homeschooling does work. 
It works for each family in a unique way.
Find your family's homeschooling path, don't try to walk another's.

And, please, don't let fear stop you from trying something different next year.
Embrace all the freedoms homeschooling has for you!

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Dorie enjoys being outside, photography, art, writing, a strong cup of coffee, and good conversations seasoned with much laughter. She and her drummer husband, Jerry, share a life built on faith in Jesus, love, and grace. They have been blessed with four active children. Each day, whether easy or trying, is a wondrous part of this grace filled journey, and Dorie blogs about them all at These Grace Filled Days. Their homeschooling adventures can be found at Homeschooling Just Next Door. 

When Opposition Comes

When we made the decision to homeschool Sophie, I was ready for some opposition from the local elementary school where Ken is on the school board.  

Surprisingly, the superintendent was supportive. She listened to our explanation, and didn't question why. She listed all the activities that Sophie would be allowed to participate in, even if she is home schooled.  There was no criticism. No backlash. At all.

However.....

When we've told our friends who have asked which school Sophie will be attending their reactions have been quite different. Hostile, questioning, hurtful.....and these are our friends!

I feel like they are waiting for us to fail - and I'm wondering how many of these friendships I should hold on to, and which ones I should back away from.

To be honest, I am a people pleaser. I don't like confrontation, and have always kept silent when I don't have a positive thing to say.  Now I'm forced to continually explain what I feel is a personal choice for my family....and I'm getting tired of it.

I could use some tips....what do you do when you are faced with the sarcastic questions, the looks, and the never ending "socialization" conversation? 

Aurie Good is a pastor's wife, a "retired" youth minister, and probably the most relaxed mom that you'll ever meet!  She blogs at Our Good Life with quips about life as a stay at home mom to two girly toddlers, two wild & crazy dogs, and one cranky cat.  She is married to her best friend and consider the simple life that they've created absolute bliss!  They are currently fostering a lively two year old little girl who keeps them on their toes!

Combatting Mid-Year Discouragement

Homeschooling is wonderful, most of the time. But, let's face it, some days are tough. Some parts of the year are harder than others. Such is the case with the winter days midway through the school year.

  

This is when the mid-year blues start to rear an ugly head. When, sometimes, we homeschooling moms get discouraged and even start to second guess ourselves or our decision to homeschool.

You know the signs of discouragement.  It may look different for each one of us.  For me, there are three tell tale signs... looking longingly at the school down the street, wanting to call it quits when we've only started the day, and a loss of creativity.

What is a discouraged homeschooling mom to do?

Some successful ways I combat the mid-year blues...

• prayer
• have a heart to heart discussion with my husband
• refocus on why we homeschool
• realize the journey won't be perfect nor will it always be fun
• pinpoint the source of my discouragement and make changes to alleviate it
• seek encouragement and advice from other homeschoolers

Maybe you aren't feeling discouragement right now. Then, perhaps, you could encourage another homeschooling mom.

Whether with family and friends, in a formal or informal support group, on a blog, or in social media you can be a source of encouragement.

A few ways to encourage discouraged moms...

• prayer
• honestly sharing your own experiences and struggles
• meeting her for coffee or tea, or a social visit (without the kids)
• offering to help in an area of struggle or discouragement

Discouragement isn't confined to the winter days midway through a school year. No, discouragement rears its ugly head anywhere, anytime for anyone of us.

If you are in a season of discouragement, know that you are not alone. Probably every homeschooling mom has felt it at one point or another.  I have been there. And, today, I want you to know, you can do this homeschooling thing. You are capable, and you will succeed!

If you are not in a season of discouragement, look around you. Is there a mom you can encourage today? Reach out using one of the ideas listed above, or add another way to encourage in the comment section.  Then, we will all benefit from your ideas.

When You're Ready to Give Up....

I am 3 months into "officially" homeschooling Sophie and last week I was ready to quit.

I was sick for a week, we were leaving on vacation, I had NOTHING ready for school...and Sophie refused to sit and work on her letters.

I was at a loss.

At the same time the Homeschool Blogging awards were popping up all over my twitter feed and every link that I clicked on made me feel more and more like a failure.

I went on vacation determined that in January I'd send Sophie to preschool across the street.

I was clearly not made to teach my child.  I couldn't get her sit and practice her letters and she had NO interest in doing anything that was not directly related to paint. None.

Sigh.

On the beach we were sitting playing in the sand and we found some seaweed, some shells, coral and a few pebbles.  We talked about how the waves make the pebbles smooth and the animals that used to live in the shells.  She was enthralled and sat for over an hour drawing in the sand and learning about the beach.

Hmm.....

As I reflected on our first few months, I realized that while I am a planner and like everything in order, she does not.  She had a wonderful doing school when we visited Thomas and learned about trains.  She loved watching the Bob on-site DVD and learning how to build a road.

She learns best when I let her interests lead us....not when I decide that we are going to learn about scarecrows and pumpkins.  She wants to learn about concrete and fish.

For the next few months we are going to be doing interest led schooling {or unschooling} and see how that works for us.  It should be an interesting ride.

But I'm not ready to give up.  Not yet.

Schooling Amidst A Crisis

The past month, my mother-in-law has been hospitalized. This stressful situation is further complicated by the fact that my husband and I are in partnership with his parents as farmers, so her workload is passed around among us, along with our worry over her. There are also her personal things (bills, cleaning, rescheduling) to be tended to. We also like to have one of us at the hospital when the doctors come around (there are six of them, and they come at random times). So our life has been a little messy and everything that can give, has gone.

We started fall harvest (THE busiest time of year on our farm) and my husband had an emergency appendectomy.

We had intended to begin school on August 1st this year, but that was not a possibility. I decided to wait until my mother-in-law was out of the hospital, but as the weeks stretched on and the pressure from other responsibilities increased, I began to have concern as to whether there would EVER be a "good time," so after discussion with my husband and children we started school this past Monday.

Did we finish *everything?* No. But we were so happy to be back around the kitchen table together. The next morning, I was needed at the hospital very early, so a sitter watched the kids and we fit the rest of school from the previous day's plans into the afternoon. It took two days to complete what would normally be fit into a morning, but we are able to be flexible about when and where we can work on it.

While my dyslexic middle child was in tutoring sessions yesterday afternoon, I worked on phonics with my first grader while my fifth grader did his math lesson. We listened to a song based on our memory work on a CD in the van going to and from the tutoring session. My oldest child read out loud to us from one of our literature study novels.

Is it perfect? No. But it was fun and satisfying. My daughter (six next month) took a lot more from the Native American Indians lesson for the older children than I imagined she would. Her journal entry was about it. Was I able to do everything according to the plans I had laid out? (Laughing) No, but does anything ever work that way?

The most enjoyable part for me was the undivided attention and time I was able to give each child separately. I have felt pulled in so many directions and had so many hats to wear lately, my connected relationship with each of them has been put to the test. It was so wonderful for me to have conversation with, lap time for, and intense interest from each of them without having to worry about what I should be working on instead.

I was doing exactly what I am meant to. The most important work I will ever do is raising these children, and I'm so thankful that homeschooling is a part of that for my family right now.

Taking Writing by Storm

For a few years, I had the opportunity to teach college-level English and writing classes, and one of my favorite classes to teach was creative writing. It was an elective class required for English and Writing majors as well as English minors. I had pre-law students, engineers, and history majors mixed in with the others, students who by no means considered themselves to be writers.

The first day of class was always exciting. To walk into that room of intimidated and bug-eyed students who had been forced to take a college level creative writing class and convince them that they could have a good time was always a highlight of my year. Breaking through the barriers they had set up in their minds was my favorite challenge. They were not all talented, and they didn't all leave my class as burgeoning writers. But they left with capability and an appreciation.

Over my next several posts, I want to share a few tips and ideas that might help you break through the barriers your child might have set up in his mind, to help him become capable and appreciative.

Taking Writing by Storm: the Brainstorm

The brainstorm stage is the first step to writing, but many students get stuck before they've even begun. Staring at that blank sheet of paper is absolute torture and makes writing a paper or a story that much more miserable. But brainstorming can take several different forms. Choosing the right form for your child, or experimenting with all of them, could be the first step in knocking down the walls of resistance.

1. The list of ideas. This is the traditional take on the brainstorm, but here's what I always recommended to my students. Write down anything that comes to mind, even if it's off-topic or a bad idea. There is no such thing as a bad idea on a brainstorm. Even bad ideas can inspire good ideas. Set a timer, turn off the inner-censors, and storm. Let your mind belch ideas on paper. Don't worry about organization or connections or anything besides just ideas at this point. Don't worry about parallelism: the ideas can be adjectives, nouns, verbs, or adverbs; they can be complete thoughts or fragments; and they might even be doodles in the margins.

2. The sketch. Some of us think best in pictures, not lists of words. Another great brainstorm tactic, especially for a story brainstorm, is to draw a picture. Let your child sketch what he sees in his mind about his story. He may be able to develop the character only after he's drawn that character. He may be able to describe the setting only after he's sketched it. Let him doodle and draw and sketch as part of his brainstorm process. Then, after the drawings are complete, let him make his list of words from the drawing he has created. Keep in mind, your child doesn't have to be an artist for this to work; he only has to be a visual learner.

3. The cloud. If you see that your child has only five words on his brainstorm, you might see if your child thinks best in the form of relationships. In other words, sketch five clouds and put one of his words in each cloud. Then, have him brainstorm for each word. He may be able to fill out his brainstorm by thinking of ideas related to those five keywords. Or, the process of writing something—anything—might lead him to a totally different and unrelated but absolutely brilliant idea.

4. The narration. Do you have an auditory learner? Or a child who just loves to talk? Try narrating the brainstorm. This could take a number of forms. Your child could do the talking while you write down his ideas; your child could do the talking and then pause to write down his own ideas; or you could get your child a mini-recorder to talk into, then have him listen and write down what he said. Have him talk to the character. Have him talk as the character. Have him talk to the character's best friend. Have him ask questions to the general of the army on which he is doing his report, and then write down those questions as leads for his research. And you don't have to sit silent. Ask your own questions to lead him and inspire more conversation. A few things to be careful about here: don't do the storming for him, don't feed him ideas, don't tell him what he's "thinking." Remember that you are giving him cues only. Think of the prompter during a play, whispering key lines and first words to get the stunned actor back into the script.

5. The rant. Many of us think better when we are writing complete sentences in paragraph form. I think this is why so many students are tempted to write the brainstorm after they've written the first draft: they just can't think in lists. So let your child write, similar to a brainstorm, but in a flow of thought rather than a list. The ideas don't have to make sense, don't have to be in the right order, and don't have to be complete sentences. Don't worry about grammar or mechanics. Just write. It might even start with, "I have absolutely nothing to write about. I hate writing. I hate writing this paper," which is why I called this "the rant." The only rule is that your child cannot stop writing until he's reached a certain length or a certain time limit. There is something about writing itself that sometimes frees up the ideas. Even if it starts as a rant, at the end of five minutes or a full page (front and back) he's probably thought of something. Then, take that "something" and repeat the process, using the "something" as his cue.

There are so many methods or mix of methods we could discuss, but I hope that I've provided a few "cues" for you to use. Brainstorming, is in essence, whatever it takes to get your ideas flowing. And if you can help your child discover what way works best for him, you haven't just taught him how to write; you've helped him learn how to think.

So, Should I Start Now?

I had the perfect homeschool post ready to go.

It was brimming with tips to do with your preschooler.

It wasn't me.

I am not an organized homeschooler.  At all.

I am organized in pretty much every area of my life - but when it comes to homeschooling, I seem to be all over.

I've been reading about all the amazing women who have already started their school year.  I've looked at cool crafts and ideas and suddenly I have a sinking feeling that I should not be trying to teach my daughters. 

Thankfully I am surrounded by lots of supportive friends and family who assure me that everything will be fine.

At the moment:

*I still haven't ordered our curriculum.  The flyer has been on my desk for at least 4 weeks. 

*I have basic art supplies and that's it - I don't have a closet/cupboard filled with construction paper, glue sticks & markers.  Paint & glitter?  Nope.

*We don't have a school room.  We'll working at our dining room table which sits on brand new carpet. {hence the lack of paint & glitter!}

*No maps.  No posters.  No school type decorations.

*I have no idea how I'll structure my day.  None. 

What I do have is excitement and enthusiasm.  I believe that teaching my girls is what I am supposed to be doing.  I have a plan {really!!} and I'm trusting that the rest of this will fall into place. 

It will, right?

Any encouraging words?  Pretty please?

Combatting Self-Criticism

On some occasions, the harsh criticism of others can be crippling, but most often the criticism that does the most damage in our lives is our own. Self-criticism is a more deadly poison because we often don't set up any guards against it; we have no defenses.

It happens when I compare myself to others, or when I'm embarrassed that my child didn't perform up to par in public. It happens when I feel defeated after a bad day rather than determined to find a better solution. And it happens subtly, when I mutter "we homeschool" under my breath and feel as though I might ought to offer an apology for that fact.

Self-criticism is sneaky and subtle, yet overpowering. And the best way to defend against it is to stay alert to its tactics and to prepare for it.

Recognizing Self-Criticism.

The first step to guarding against self-criticism is recognizing its tactics, knowing where it's likely to attack, and the verbal assault that it is about to launch. It could happen at your local homeschool group, or at your favorite blog. It could happen on Facebook or while you are chatting with your friend. Instead of rejoicing in someone else's success, we immediately notice the differences. And the self-criticism begins its attack: "We don't do it that way." "I never would have thought of that." "I couldn't possibly do more than we're doing already." And then, from noticing the differences, suddenly those differences make us feel inferior: "No wonder we struggle." "I'm just not cut out for this." "I could never be that kind of a homeschool parent." We resort to absolute statements of "always" and the even more common "never." Then, we resign ourselves to defeat and discouragement.

Defending with Realism.

Ironically, many of us who struggle the most with self-criticism claim to be realists. We're just "facing the facts," we say. And yet, it's probably more true that we are omitting certain facts.

For instance, I only occasionally post about our bad days on my blog. Every now and then I will have caught it on camera or will have learned something valuable enough from the experience to warrant publishing it to the world. But everyone's natural tendency is to present only our best for the world to scrutinize. Remember that as you drool over someone's curriculum, school room, or craft-filled lesson plans; remember that their children throw tantrums and color on walls, too.

Another dose of realism is to recount your own successes: the things your children have learned, the days that were highlights of education, the moments when the light went on for your children. If you find yourself a frequent victim of self-criticism, keep a journal of your high moments and refer back to this often. Bottom-line: remind yourself of the reality that everyone has lows and that you, too, have some highs worth remembering.

Personally, I find myself most susceptible to self-criticism when I feel that I have something to prove. I put more pressure on my children to succeed in public, and I put more pressure on myself to do things perfectly. And the result is that I'm destined for defeat. It's the fear of man, and it's a guaranteed snare.

One of the most powerful quotes in my life, one that I come back to over and over again says:

"I live before an Audience of One. Before others I have nothing to gain, nothing to prove, nothing to lose." --Os Guinness

When self-criticism fingers its way into your day, recognize its tactics, be prepared to face it off with reality, and then remember to whom you are accountable. There's only One opinion worth worrying about.

To read all of Tracy's posts on "Combatting Criticism," click here.

Seeds of Wisdom--Struggles

Welcome to another edition of Seeds of Wisdom! 

This weeks question is: What is your biggest struggle when it comes to homeschooling?

Ralene: My biggest struggle is having the discipline to homeschool every day. I'm tempted (and often give in) to throw the towel in when I'm tired or sick (which happens quite often...low immune system) or if the girls are having a particularly hard day. I know, though, that it is in all of our best interest if we can stick to the routine.

Aurie: My biggest struggle is being flexible! We learn towards the unschooling method, which works well for my girls, but I still struggle with the need to "teach" things in "order". I'm working on it!

Heather: I have two issues that I struggle with equally.
1.- Staying on schedule. Some days I just really don't feel like teaching. Ugh- did I just really just type that?!
2.- Remembering that we are homeschooling- not schooling at home. There is a difference!

Jessica: My biggest homeschool struggle is pacing. I am a very "ALL IN" kind of girl, so I always want to fit too much into a day or more into a lesson than my kids can handle. My goal oriented nature can make it difficult not to try to overachieve - I do well with a schedule that someone else wrote! I learned in our first year of homeschooling how important it was for me to be able to let go of my plans if things were falling apart. It is more important how my children feel than how quickly we get through lessons. I've also learned a lot from talking with and watching other homeschooling mothers or teachers of children with similar ages. It helps me to remember that slow, patient steps go much farther than a sprint. I work on keeping my focus away from "what's next?" and steady with "right now."

Marla: My biggest problem is finding a balance for myself and the girls. Abigail and I both love preschool and we could be happy "doing school" all day every day and I would love to spend hours planning/creating activities each night. However, we also need to find time for sport and fine art activities, playdates/time with friends, free play, housework, errands, family outings, and rest.

Tracy: My biggest struggle is not the homeschooling as much as trying to balance the rest of my life while we homeschool--the meals, the cleaning, even my marriage! It's so easy to let homeschool crowd into everything else. Keeping it boxed into its own time and space is my most important battle.

Sam: Leaving my public school background behind. I want to be the person who makes learning fun, and I still struggle with the only thing I know, which is the institutional education style. I want to leave all of that behind, and trust my instincts about learning.

What about you? What do you struggle with?

If you have any questions you would like us to answer, please send an email to raleneburke at yahoo dot com with the subject "Seeds of Wisdom". First in, first out!

My Biggest Struggle

Homeschooling is a journey that I never in my wildest dreams imagined I would be taking. In fact, just a few short years ago my best friend who was trying to conceive her first child, told me she planned to homeschool her children and my response was "why would you do that to your child?!" I planned to send my children to public school. I mean, I was a public school child and I turned out fine, right? Wait, don't answer that.

My, my how things have changed. I realize more and more each day that God has a plan that is not our own, and His plan is so much bigger and so much better than we could ever fathom. But first, we must let go of our plans. Looking back, I can pinpoint the time that God planted the homeschooling seed into my heart. It was 3 years ago and both of my daughters were in preschool. Times were rough. We could no longer afford to pay $200 a month for preschool. So I thought, I'll preschool them at home, and I did. Never once did it cross my mind that I was homeschooling. We continued "preschooling" them for the remainder of that year.

The next year, our circumstances had changed. Our oldest started Pre-K and our youngest(who is only 11 months younger, but couldn't attend pre-k because she missed the age requirement by 11 days) went to daycare. My oldest cried every single day of pre-k. She hated going..luckily my husband was the one who dropped her off. At the end of the day, she was fine and she said she had fun, but she wasn't learning anything. Everything they were attempting to teach her, we taught her the year before. About halfway through the year homeschooling started creeping into my thoughts. I checked out a book from the library, read a few chapters and returned it. I convinced myself there was absolutely no way I could homeschool. I had to work full-time. My husband had to work full-time. Sadly enough, I was going to send them to public school because I needed a babysitter. Typing that hurts.

A couple of months later, we found out my husband would be laid off and would be going back to school. That's when the light bulb came on. He could plan his class schedule around my work schedule and we COULD homeschool. Isn't God awesome? The girls finished out the year at their pre-K/daycare in May and we began homeschooling both of them in Kindergarten in July.

We've just finished our Kindergarten year and our entire family loves homeschooling. It has worked out so well for us. I can no longer imagine waking the girls up at 6:00 a.m. to catch a bus to school by 7:00 a.m. We love the flexibility that homeschooling provides.

One of the biggest struggles I've had during our first year has had absolutely nothing to do with teaching my children. My biggest problem has involved me comparing myself and our homeschooling family to others. Ladies and gentlemen, hear me out: reading blogs and speaking with other homeschooling parents is a great way to find new ideas and get advice, but please let it stop there. Don't fall into the trap of comparing yourself or your children. Trust me, if you do this, your homeschool will fail. It's a natural tendency (especially among women) to compare yourself to others who seem to have it all together. Let me share a secret with you. They don't. Their life is just as chaotic and disorganized as yours. Their children are no smarter than yours. Their husbands/wives don't love them anymore than yours. We all have issues. We all have strengths. We all have weaknesses. There are two possible outcomes of comparing ourselves. 1.) We look at others and *think* we're much better off than they are. I mean we've done x,y,z this week. We must have something right. Then we fill ourselves with self-righteous thoughts and pride. Or, 2.) We look at others and see all the ways that they are better than us and doubt begins to creep in. We think we aren't meant for this job of being a homeschooling parent. We think we are ruining our kids and they aren't learning anything. And these are lies. God has equipped each of us with all the skills necessary to educate our children. He doesn't call us to do a job and not give us the needed equipment to complete the task. Really Moms and Dads, look at everything your children have learned from birth to age 5. You taught them everything they know. You did that and you did an awesome job. Why stop there?

I'm not saying homeschooling is for everyone. I'll be honest, for some people homeschooling would be a detriment to their children. But if you WANT to homeschool your children, you CAN do it.

We are a year into this incredible journey and I have so much to learn. Every day I discover something new about myself, my children, or life in general. It's fascinating. Not only am I educating my children, they are educating me. Seeing your child truly grasp a new concept is a feeling nothing else can compare to. I can't imagine missing those opportunities.

I'm here to tell you that there are good days and bad days. There are days when I feel like super mom and days when I feel like I should've stayed in bed. I'm going to share those days and all the days in between with you. I will be transparent and real. You may not agree with everything I say and by all means, call me out. I look forward to your comments and suggestions. I can't wait to learn from you guys, like I said I have SO much to learn. So come along, buckle up and hold on tight, it's going to be a wild adventure.