You Gotta Have Friends

We were five moms seated around two squashed together tables at Panera Bread one Friday evening. All of us, over thirty with multiple children, laughing like teenagers. Each mom had her own story to tell and her own story to live. But for one Friday evening those individual stories intersected in fellowship, friendship, food and fun.

Sharing from our hearts, we encouraged one another in this journey of motherhood and wifehood.

Interestingly enough, that night, the majority of women who gathered homeschool, but not all. Did this leave us at odds, resulting in an educational war? No, of course not. We weren't there to critique each other or compare ourselves to one another. Our hearts were joined in our common roles as mommas and wives. We were there to share, to learn from one another, and be encouraged.

As I returned home, I thought about how long it had been since I had experienced a night like this. Honestly, it had been a long time. Too long. I had needed this evening out with friends.

When the schedule gets demanding, finding time for an outing with other wives and moms can almost be impossible. Yet, it is vital that we try to connect with others in real life.

Having connections online is wonderful. This is not a bash or rant about online support. Honestly, sometimes due to geography or circumstances, the online community is the only support one can have. For those of us with no geographical issues, who are surrounded by other
families within a reasonable driving distance: this post is for us {because some days I need the reminder too}.

We need real life in our face momma friends.

We need another seeing with their very own eyes our mess and lovingly encouraging us anyway.

For you see, we all know we can hide our junk from the online world. We can crop the pic just so, give it the right angle, or change the tone of our words with editing. We can highlight our children's accomplishments, presenting an illusion that they never struggle.

In some ways, I agree with doing all of this. Love covers the mistakes of others. I am not in to publicizing my children's mistakes {Believe me, they make many. They take after me.} And, for the record, I tend to naturally be a positive person. My glass is almost always half full. I know, it is kind of irritating to those half empty glass people.

However, online interactions don't always offer what a IRL (in real life) friend can. IRL friends can tell from the tone of your voice the day you've had. They can see the weariness in your eyes, and come aside you to help. Sometimes, they can offer another perspective, because they have seen the whole situation.

If you don't have any IRL friends, then seek them. Befriend another. You may not 'click' instantly, but don't write them off immediately. We are each part of our own story, but a bigger and better one is written when our stories intertwine. Those other moms/wives are seeking to live their best story too - and that might just be where you find your first common thread.

~ Dorie

Oh, and if you make your way to Panera Bread one evening, try the Autumn Squash soup - delicious!

A Bit of Encouragement

The past few weeks have been rough in our homeschool and in our household.  Things have been crazy and I am just simply overwhelmed.  I feel that I am not doing enough as a mother or a teacher for my children.  I feel that I am not adequately meeting the needs of my amazing husband.  And I feel that my university students are not getting the attention they need and deserve from an instructor.  Basically, I am just feeling like I am failing.

So, I have been praying.  And God revealed something wonderful to me, so wonderful in fact that I think you need to hear it too.  I am doing enough.  I might not be doing everything that I want to do and I may be not be the perfect mother, wife, or teacher.  But, I am who God wants me to be and I am enough.  I am doing exactly what he intends for me to do and so are you.  You are meeting the needs of your family, even when you feel like a failure.

Have a blessed day, my homeschooling friends!  

 I can do all this through him who gives me strength.

Philippians 4:13



Marla is a former special education teacher, current PhD student, university instructor, and stay-at-home, homeschooling mom of two little girls (ages 2 and 4).  She blogs about homeschooling at Marla's Motherhood Musings and her family's experiences living in Zambia at Our Life in Lusaka.

Five Things I Wish I Had Known

...before I started homeschooling.

We have been a homeschool family for almost a decade.  Over these years, our children and I have learned a lot!  As their primary teacher, I have made mistakes and grown because of them.  Now, when a new homeschooling mom asks for tips or advice, I pause and think about what I would have liked to have known before I started homeschooling.  Today, I'm sharing my top five.


Struggles will happen, and it is OK.  These struggles help teach my children perseverance, persistence, and diligence.  Additionally, they help stretch my teaching abilities and allow me to become more patient.

There are many, many choices.  Pick and choose what is important to you and your family.  You can't possibly do everything.  If you later find out you made the wrong choice, then make a change. 

Homeschooling days will change as your child ages.  This is natural and logical.  You are helping your child grow and mature.  Their needs at age 15 are different from their needs at age 5.  Make adjustments to your schedule, plan, or days to meet their current needs.

It won't always look pretty and good.  Some days are hard and some are down right ugly.  Bad days happen in life, and they will happen in your homeschool, too.  Learn to evaluate.  Determine what went wrong and why.  Make changes if possible.

Your relationship with your child and your child's heart are of primary importance.  All other items, even academics, are secondary.  You will always be your child's parent.  Eventually, you will stop being their primary teacher.  No matter how long the days seem, the years will go by quickly.  Soon enough your little elementary student will be graduating from high school.  What kind of relationship do you want with your child in the future?  Start cultivating it now.  What kind of heart attitudes would you like to see in the future?  Start planting those seeds now.

As I glance over this listing, I wonder, what will my top five be in another decade?

Five Tips For A Good Beginning

Many homeschool families school year-round, and many follow a calendar similar to their neighborhood schools.

Those who take a summer break probably have or are gearing up to start a brand-new year.  Here are some ideas for a positive  beginning:

1)  Be excited, and let your enthusiasm show.  Attitudes are contagious, so be sure your children are catching all of your good feelings.  Marketing is very important!

2)  Prepare several weeks of materials ahead of time.  My family uses a packaged curriculum, so a great deal of the organization is done for me.  I typically use Sunday afternoons as my preparation day, but when we first begin I like to have looked over and gathered the enrichment materials for the next month or so.  This allows me to focus on the children rather than the material.

3)  Do something fun or unusual during your first few weeks.  While everyone is readjusting to your routine, add some favorite activities (or some new ones!) to keep everyone feeling excited.  In our first few weeks, my oldest son started band classes at our local public school, I took the children on a 'book scavenger hunt' at our library, and we went with cousins on a field trip.

4)  Talk about what everyone is learning.  My children love to talk. Period.  I encourage them to tell others (like their father, other family members, friends and interested adults) about what they are studying.  It helps with their retention, make them feel proud of their work, and can be a great tool to show individuals without exposure how effective homeschooling is.  Discussing what they are learning with you helps them practice for whenever those opportunities arrive.

5)  Take it easy.  Don't try to get everything done.  Freeze some meals ahead of time or plan on grilled cheese and soup for supper.  Watch your children instead of your curriculum.  It is your prerogative to avoid the pressure and stress that children face in institutional schools so take advantage of it.


And don't forget to take a few pictures!  Best wishes on your new year from all of us here at Growing Your Homeschool.

Our Evolving Homeschool Style

Today, I am excited to introduce you to Laura, a blogging friend who also happens to homeschool.    I met Laura earlier this year through her blog, Freedom at Home and School.  She shares about striving for a simple life, but one rich in adventures and relationships.  Laura's words of wisdom and experiences will encourage both new and veteran homeschoolers.

We will soon begin our sixth year homeschooling our two children.  Lydia is 13.  Lyndon is 11.  I am not a veteran homeschooler, but I have learned what works best for our family at this season of our lives.  When you homeschool, you spend enough time with your children to truly learn what makes them tick.

Homeschooling has benefited our lives in more ways than I can count.  It brought our family closer.  Our children are ahead of their peers in many subjects (and we're not even trying).  I would love to share everything I have learned that makes homeschooling work for our family.  But I was asked to write a post, not a book.  So in keeping with a major theme in our lives, I will keep it simple and share what works for us.

ECLECTIC.  That's our current homeschool style.

Webster's Dictionary defines eclectic as "selecting what appears to be best in various doctrines, methods, or styles."  Exactly!  That's what we do.  We try to incorporate into our schooling only that which works the best (curriculum, styles) and toss the rest.

We began homeschooling in 2006.  I was so structured, I could barely move.  Hourly schedules, daily schedules, weekly schedules, annual schedules, schedules, schedules.  Good grief, I was so rigid.
 
I used the Sonlight curriculum for a couple of years.  (Sonlight, by the way is a super homeschooling resource.)  Sonlight's scheduling notebook is huge and it is full of schedules; hourly, daily, and weekly.  I took great comfort in this structure when I first started out.  If I didn't have the Sonlight scheduling notebook to hang onto during those first years, I might not have had the courage to seek out different formats that work better for our family today.  Those highly structured years helped train me.  I learned so much about how I teach, how our children learn, and how we work best together when we "do school." 

Today, however, I find highly structured schedules too restricting.  Rigid structure took away from the spontaneity that I find to be such a delightful part of homeschooling. 

Structure is important.  I get that.  But the backbone of how we homeschool is much more flexible today.  We bend deep trying new things, but we don't break.  We are solid on the basic subjects every child should know; math, writing, reading, history....  I know what I want our children to learn each year.  And we get there.

That said, here are a few guidelines that have worked well for us on our homeschool journey. 

*Have fun!  Be flexible!  Enjoy your children.
One of the most difficult things I had to learn as my childrens' teacher was to laugh with them during school.  Somehow I thought if we were silly when we were learning something, the kids wouldn't take learning seriously.  Was I ever wrong!  When we laugh together we bond.   A good belly laugh releases those wonderful endorphins that make life less serious and more fun.  It actually becomes easier to refocus and learn when your heart is light.  "A cheerful heart is good medicine."  Proverbs 17:22

When you're not rigid with your schedule, you can marinate in a subject that catches your childrens' fancy.  Last year we spent an entire day making crystals.  It wasn't planned, but it was one of our best days.  Our study on the Early Roman Empire was put away until the next day because learning about and making crystals is so fun!  We spent the day covering the house with our experiments.  Borax crystal ornaments, alum crystal geodes, and sugar crystal sticks.  We took pictures and videos.  The pages of their science journals were being filled and we were laughing a lot.  I loved that day.

*Be sneaky!  Teach them subjects that you've always wanted to learn.
When you are having fun, your children will have fun.  They will feel your excitement and internalize it.  It will energize them.  Think about a subject that interests you and learn about it together. 

I don't remember learning much about the Civil War in school.  I decided that since my children need to learn about the Civil War at some point, why not now?  From the library we borrowed some lovely coffee table books on the Civil War and left them out for the children to peruse at their leisure.  We dug through letters written by my great-great grandfather while he was a commander in the Civil War.  We watched movies and documentaries.  We memorized the Gettysburg address.  We read novels and biographies.  I loved that time. 

*Be creative.
Any subject can get boring.   When the kids are struggling with a particular concept (often in math), we'll get out our huge eraser board and some colorful markers.  I'll ask the kids to switch roles with me.  They teach me what they know and I try to coach them through it.  Finding a good video online explaining a certain discipline also helps.  The web site http://khanacademy.org is a great resource for just about every subject.

We are not above enticing our children with money to learn something beyond what we are currently studying.  Money motivates them these days (we don't do allowance.)  Once in a while, my husband and I will put together a list of a dozen things the children can learn with a dollar amount attached to each.  The list magically appears on the refrigerator and stays up for just one week.  Once the list is taken down, so is their opportunity to make some extra money.  Five dollars to memorize the name and location of each European country and capital (spelling counts.)  $3.00 memorize the three branches of government and explain the function of each.  Our kids have spent entire evenings devoted to learning from that list in order to earn some money.  No TV.  Just learning.  It's heaven.

*Be fearless in the face of a newly purchased curriculum.
After hours spent researching a curriculum and investing in its purchase, I found it difficult to acknowledge that it was not working for our kids.  In spite of our best intentions, sometimes, you and your child will not "hit it off" with a particular curriculum.  If you see your child's eye's begin to glaze over and your child does NOT want to work on that particular subject, then toss it!  Your child does not have to endure a boring curriculum when there are scores of choices available online.  When we end up with a dud,  I have learned to move on quickly.  Resell it.  Give it to a family whose children find it enjoyable.  But move on! 

*Be organized.
It sounds like a contradiction.  Being organized does not equal being rigid or super-structured.  It simply means that we can quickly find what we're looking for.   It saves time.  It makes life less complicated.  I reorganized our homeschool closed this year.  Each shelf has it's own subject.  Each child has his/her own shelf.  There is a special box for their laptops.  We can locate a pencil sharpener and our writing curriculum in a heartbeat.  Less physical clutter means less clutter in our brains.

*When you want to give up.... DO!  (But only for a little while).
When things get hard (and they will), don't be afraid to take drastic measures.  Just quit... for a while.  I don't always take our family's "emotional temperature" before we begin our day.  I may start the day intending to finish a difficult chapter in math followed by a long chapter in history.  But if the kids wake up exhausted from a long week of swim practice and 4H activities, they may not share my energy.  Never be afraid to cancel school for the day, the week, two weeks...  Do something out of the box.  Go see a matinee (when all the other kids are in school!), ride your bike, play a game, hunker down and read books for pleasure.  Whatever caused the difficulty will soon seem insignificant as you wind down and school can begin again when you've got your equilibrium back.  A rested and relaxed child can do twice the work in half the time.

*Don't try to recreate a public school in your home.
We rarely sit at a desk for school.  More often than not, the kids are stretched out in the living room.  We break it up by writing an essay at the kitchen table, doing geography in the master bedroom (we have the world map tacked to our bedroom wall), watching our writing DVD snuggled on the couch together.  As long as the kids know where to find their stuff, they can work wherever they feel comfortable.  Both of my children are kinetic learners, so there is a lot of moving around in our house.  A physical change of location can alter the atmosphere and make learning easier.

*Talk about Him throughout the day.
"You shall teach them to your children, talking of them when you are sitting in your house, and when you are walking by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise."  Deuteronomy 11:19

Bad moods?  Arguing?  Take a break, sit down together and talk about what King Solomon said: "Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing" Proverbs 12:18.   "A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control." Proverbs 29:11  There are endless moments to bring God's word into your day.  Often we'll just go off on rabbit trails and end up with a Bible study for the morning.  "Who wrote Proverbs?"  "Who was his father?"  "What great feat did his father do as a child?"

FINALLY....  Don't forget the excitement of new school supplies.  Especially in the middle of the year.  Fresh pencils, erasers, and journals?  An inexpensive boost of adrenaline; a renewed excitement for learning.  I don't know why.  It just works.

I love being a homeschool mom.  I no longer cringe when I hear someone ponder about the "waste" of my legal education.  Even on days that I feel like throwing in the towel, I know that I'm doing the right thing and tomorrow will be a better day.  I know that what my husband and I have chosen to do is making a positive difference in all of our lives. 

Time is passing so quickly.  Our children are with us for such a short while.  The world will have them soon enough.  In the meantime, pour yourself and your values into your kids.  Pray for them.  Pray with them.  Have fun with them.  


If you're still reading, you must have a heart to homeschool your children.  You are not alone.  There are millions of homeschooled kids around the world.  Our numbers grow every year.  Why?  Because it works! 

Never, ever give up.  There is always something new to try.   There is always encouragement to be found from a friend or an insightful blog.  There are as many different styles of homeschooling as there are children.  Find what works for you.  You will never regret homeschooling.  Even if you homeschool for a year or two, you will be giving your children a gift most kids never get; time with you. 

Homeschooling is one of the best decisions my husband and I have ever made.  We have no regrets.  None.

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About Laura:

My husband and I have been homeschooling our two children for six years. Lydia is 13 and Lyndon is 11. We moved to Montana from the big city 21 years ago looking for a more peaceful life. Earlier this year I began a blog, Freedom at Home and School, to journal about our attempts to simplify the very hectic lives we had somehow managed to create.  Many of my posts involve homeschooling because it is such an important part of our lives. I practiced law until our children were born. Now my days are spent taking care of my home and family. I enjoy gardening and couldn't survive without a pile of books on my bedside table. Being a stay at home mom is much more difficult and infinitely more important than my law practice. My husband is a business owner. His work creates a schedule that allows him to spend time with us each day. We love hanging out with our family. We see the speed at which our lives are passing. Our primary focus is God and family. We are blessed.

Academic Progress at Their Pace

There is freedom in homeschooling.  We choose curriculum, or opt to use outside resources like classes, tutors, or co-ops for some subjects.  When needed, we can alter lesson plans to suit our families, or change directions when something isn't working.

In any given school year, many choices and decisions are made, but probably one of the most daunting responsibilities is determining the pace a child progresses through their academics.  As a homeschool teacher, you can allow a child to progress at their ideal pace for them, but what if this is far outside the norm? 

Typically, a child finishes the school year and they are promoted to the next grade.  They have completed satisfactory work and progress to a harder level.  However, not all children do. 

A child who struggles greatly may need remedial work or increased tutoring time over the summer break.  Perhaps, they need a different academic approach or some specific interventions throughout the coming year.  Lightening their academic load by concentrating only on core subjects may help.  Sometimes, they may even need to repeat a grade level in one or more subjects.

On the other hand, a child may excel quickly through their academic work.  This child sails through all your lesson plans, completing near perfect pages with very little evidence of effort.  Perhaps, they need a more challenging approach or a few extra courses in the coming year.  Sometimes, they may even skip a year to reach a more challenging level.

No matter what the situation, both children need their academic progress paced in some fashion. 

Regardless of what curriculum or method you use, the pace you employ is vital. 

A child who struggles should not be expected to complete as many lessons in as short of time as a child who excels academically.  We all understand this innately.  However, what about when your child only struggles with one aspect?  Maybe multiplication or sentence diagramming presents difficulty for your otherwise good student.  Do you progress at the child's pace, slowing down for their understanding, or do you press forward, trying to complete the curriculum on someone else's schedule?

Recently, I was reading through a book which cited the literal meaning of curriculum as 'to run a course.'  Wanting to determine the validity of that statement, I checked out the definition from Oxford Dictionaries on line.   This is what I found.

Curriculum - noun (plural curricula or curriculums): the subjects comprising a course of study in a school or college; origin - early 19th century: from Latin (see curricle)

Curricle - noun historical: a light, open, two-wheeled carriage pulled by two horses side by side; mid 18th century: from Latin curriculum 'course, racing chariot', from currere 'to run'

{definitions from Oxford Dictionaries}

Curriculum is the course set before the student.  There is an end in sight, but there doesn't have to be a standard speed.  Children walk it at their own pace, finishing as they are able.  As parents, who happen to be teachers, may we continue to encourage and lead them along the way to progress at their own pace. 

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Dorie enjoys being outside, photography, art, writing, a strong cup of coffee, and good conversations seasoned with much laughter. She and her drummer husband, Jerry, share a life built on faith in Jesus, love, and grace. They have been blessed with four active children. Each day, whether easy or trying, is a wondrous part of this grace filled journey, and Dorie blogs about them all at These Grace Filled Days. Their homeschooling adventures can be found at Homeschooling Just Next Door.

You Want Me to What...?

Perhaps my favorite aspect of blogging is the incredible people I meet! 

It is my privilege to introduce you to Mountain Mama.  I first met her through a weekly link-up over a year ago and have been blessed by her words ever since.  She blogs about faith, family, and life with posts that make me laugh and cry, depending on the topic.  More importantly, her words inspire me to step out in faith, to live the adventure life was meant to be.  Today, Brooke is talking about homeschooling right here at Growing Your Homeschool.  So, if you are currently homeschooling or have ever considered homeschooling, you will be blessed to read this encouraging testimony...   

I'll never forget how I felt when the Lord was leading us to homeschool.  There was a feeling of shock mixed with uncertainty and insecurity. I didn't think I was up to the challenge and in all honesty I didn't want to be "one of the families."  We tried it for a few weeks but the new Christian school across the street from our home looked very appealing.  It was just too easy to send our eldest out the door every morning in her cute little uniform with piggy tails swinging in the air.  It freed up my time, gave her new friends and put my focus on our two younger children.  But, deep down, I knew we were not obeying what the Lord wanted us to do.

Fast forward to a couple of years and we find ourselves living in the remote Idaho Mountains.  Remote as in: a single neighbor and one hour from our mailbox on a death defying road.  Not to mention bears, coyotes and rattlesnakes.  To say living there was a challenge is an understatement.  We had to face our fears head on.  But, more importantly, we grew as a family.  We were always together and we HAD to homeschool.  Doesn't the Lord have a sense of humor?  We even held our own church service on Sundays. We bonded as a family and for the first time I realized what homeschooling is all about.  I wouldn't trade those humbling few months for anything.

Now that we are home in Oklahoma we try to apply what we call "Mountain Life" to our days.  Mountain life includes a lot of family time both with just us and everyone who is in our family tree.  Mine is full of nuts by the way.  I'm only kidding.  We love our families!

Another thing we strive for is simplicity.  In the mountains the kids didn't need many toys or entertainment.  They made their toys creating their own see-saw, rock climbing "walls", swings, playhouses, etc.  I was blown away by their creativity.  Did it frighten me when they were climbing on boulders and running down mountains at full speed?  You bet. I practiced placing my trust in the One who moved us there to begin with and learned to relax and let kids be kids.  Not without a few rules on my part mind you.

Mountain life also means guarding our time.  We don't watch TV and we are very strict with the movies we watch.  Why?  We want to honor God in all that we do.  There is so much junk in the world, especially in the media.  Plus, we would much rather play a round of "Go Fish" or actually go fishing then sit and be immobile.  Making family memories is so much fun!

This leads me to a question people ask: Do I feel like we're protecting our kids too much from the world?  No way.  Our goal is to build a strong foundation for our children, one built on God's word so when they do come into contact with not nice things they will know what to do and the best choices to make.  They are learning that there are problems and issues in the world and that not everyone can be trusted.  However, we are also teaching them to serve and love people and to show them honor and respect.  We are NOT better than anyone else, period.  We are to be a light in this world and how can we that if we are too proud, afraid or never mix with the world?  {Matthew 5:16}

Guarding our time also means we don't say "yes" to everyone who asks us to do something.  We've skimmed down our schedules and are sure to do things several times a week to be a blessing to others.  Mountain life = less stress. We eat dinner as a family almost every night.

Another question I receive is, "How long does school last on a daily basis for your family?"  My answer is always the same.  Learning at home is a lifestyle.  We learn ALL the time.  When we cook together, serve at church together, run errands, work in the garden, go to the library...there are literally teachable moments everywhere.  It's not all workbook pages.

Another statement I hear often is, "I just don't think I could stand my kid for eight hours a day."  I try to laugh this statement off but it cuts deep into my heart.  For starters, God knows what He's doing when He places a family together.  He knows our personalities will clash.  He knows that at times the worst of us will come out and I daresay He hopes we will venture to learn, grow, change and rely on Him for help.  I tell the kids that learning to get along with each other will prepare them to get along with the world and future relationships.

Do I think all families should homeschool?  No way.  There are too many variables and every family is so different.  Each family should pray about the Lord's will for their child's education.

I believe there is a generation of kids being taught at home that will no doubt be world changers and that's just what we need.  It is an adventure to say the least.  If you are "crazy" enough to be homeschooling already, and I say that with love, then I want to pat your back and give you a hug.  You are going against the flow, doing something that is challenging while at the same time growing right along with your kids and no doubt making a lasting impact on them and God's kingdom. Way to go!!

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Brooke D. lives in her home state of Oklahoma with her husband of thirteen years and their three children.  She is known as “Mountain Mama” in the blogging world.  She is passionate about serving the Lord with her whole heart.  Brooke recently earned a degree in natural medicine.  She enjoys exploring new places, reading, spending time with family and volunteering her time to help others.

Me Time?

Today, I am excited to share with you a guest post by Janet who shares her heart and adventures at Janet Rose.  She just recently returned from a mission trip to Alaska!  You can read about her adventures on her blog, but first we invite you to pull up a chair, and read over these words of wisdom she shares with us today...  

Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, He got up, went out,

and made His way to a deserted place. And He was praying there.

Simon and his companions went searching for Him.

They found Him and said, “Everyone’s looking for You!”
And He said to them, “Let’s go on to the neighboring villages

so that I may preach there too. This is why I have come.”

So He went into all of Galilee,

preaching in their synagogues and driving out demons. 

Mark 1:35-39

A conversation that I had last week with another homeschooling mom finally gave me the best answer to the most asked question I have received over the past 4 years of homeschooling... 

"How do you spend all day, every day, with your kids?"

Often following this question is a statement about needing "me time".  I have always just spoken from my heart that spending time with my kids is a joy and it is what God desires of me right now. 
I am then usually asked about when I have "me time".  I speak of having a wonderful support system of grandparents and friends who watch the boys time to time.  I do not feel a need for time away from my kids every day.  I actually really miss them when they are with someone else.

Now, though, thanks to one simple statement from my friend, I have a great answer to the question about being with my boys all day long, but I also have a new perspective on "me time"...
"The Bible doesn't mention anything about 'me time'." 

Not in the sense that we use that phrase, anyway. 
And, I realize that I have some changes to make.
  

But the news about Him spread even more,

and large crowds would come together to hear Him

and to be healed of their sicknesses.

Yet He often withdrew to deserted places and prayed.
Luke 5:15-16

Jesus set an amazing example for us in that, when He desired "me time", He spent it in prayer with His Father.  His down time had a purpose greater than that of putting up His feet and browsing FB, catching up on a TV show previously recorded on the DVR, or even reading a book from a favorite author. 

He went off by Himself to pray. 

I am convicted in epic proportions.  

Prayer is not the first item on my list of things to do when I am able to get away by myself.  Getting my nails done, maybe, but not giving my first minutes of free time to Jesus.
Oh, but wait.  It gets better.

He was often interrupted during His "me time"...and He willingly gave it up to teach and heal the people.

When Jesus heard what had happened, he withdrew by boat privately to a solitary place. Hearing of this, the crowds followed him on foot from the towns. When Jesus landed and saw a large crowd, he had compassion on them and healed their sick. Matthew 14:13-14

How many mornings were my showers interrupted by a little voice calling from the other side of the curtain?  How many times do I long to not hear my name called during the few minutes I am getting dressed?  Will the day ever come when no one will be asking me questions while I am on the phone with a friend?  I could go on.  In having my boys with me all day long there are times I long for a few minutes to do something alone and probably run short on the compassion that I should feel for those who interrupt those few and far between minutes.    

God wants the first of the best of every thing, including my free time.  Consequently, when interrupted, I am to do as Jesus did and have compassion on those wanting to be with me and who need me.  In my calling as a wife, mother, and homeschooling parent, I have the greatest example ever by Jesus Himself on how to handle the demands from others on me and my time.  It is time to start following that example wholeheartedly.  Things are about to get even better around here, I think, and I could not be more excited! 

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Janet Rose...I am a daughter of the King, wife of 10 years to Scott, and mom to Alex and Tim.  Life for me includes homeschooling, spending time with family, mission trips to AK, traveling whenever and wherever possible, being a youth leader at church, helping at Bible Memory Camp during the summer, and whatever else that comes along.  God has shown me that finding my identity first and foremost in being His child gives me all the energy, power, and comfort I need to handle the ups and downs in life.  Our God is an awesome God, indeed!

Homeschool? I Could Never Do That.

"I could never do that."

This is the single most common statement made to me by other parents when they hear that we homeschool.  It always makes me smile.

In fact, I made the same statement myself (many times) in the years before we became crazy homeschoolers ourselves.


I am going to tell you something today that you may not want to hear.  You may not be ready to hear it just yet.  You may, in fact, be avoiding hearing it.  I know all of those things were true for me when my homeschooling friend finally said to me "Yes, you can."

You totally, completely and absolutely could do this.  This homeschooling thing? Yes.  You could do it.


I can hear what you are saying to me.

I don't have time!  My child and I butt heads over everything!  I don't have time!  My husband/wife won't want to!  I'm not qualified!  I don't have time!  I don't really even like kids!  I have no teaching experience! And I don't have time!

and then we come to the root of your struggles:

*whispering now* How will I be sure they are learning enough? Learning the right things? What will other people think of them, of me? Will we turn into one of those weird, awkward homeschooling families I've heard about?  I don't know anything about homeschooling or anyone (well, other than you) who homeschools...

And worst of all, what you can't even bring yourself to say out loud:

What if I ruin my child? 




I'm going to tell you what my friend told me, when I finally couldn't lie to myself anymore about my goals and desires for my children, about their needs and abilities, about homeschooling and what it meant.

1) Homeschooling is a completely reversible decision.  If it doesn't work out, you can always go back.
2) You know, understand and love your child better than any professional educator ever could.
3) Homeschoolers are everywhere. And their kids are awesome.
4) There is help and support available (everywhere!) for new homeschoolers trying to navigate the learning curve.

And worst of all, what I couldn't even bring myself to say out loud:

5) What if institutional education ruins your child?




None of the above items means that I think everyone should be homeschooling their children, nor does it mean that institutional school is bad for every child.  It doesn't mean that homeschooling would be best for every family, or for your family.  But if you are reading this, if you are on the internet exploring homeschooling, if you are struggling with what might be the best fit for your children, this may be just what you need to face.  You certainly could do it.  Does it mean that you should or will?  Only you can answer that.

But you certainly could.  If I can, anyone (including you!) can do it as well.

Embracing Homeschool Freedoms

Are you afraid to embrace the freedom homeschool offers?

Do you fear what others think?

If you do something different than school at home,
do you worry that your family and friends just won't understand?

Does doing something different, or being considered odd,
make you cringe?


What holds you back from embracing all the freedom
homeschooling offers?

Are you trying to homeschool like your friend
and it just isn't working for your family?

Do you think you've chosen the less than path
in homeschooling because of these choices?

There is diversity in homeschooling! 
Embrace your family's unique path.

There is opportunity to make changes,
and to do things differently.

Sure, you will make mistakes.  We all do.
{I know I have made plenty.}
Learn from your mistakes, and make the necessary changes.
Learn from others' mistakes as well.
{Sometimes, I think those that have messed up a lot,
have more to teach us than those who did it all correctly the first time.}

As we close out one school year,
and begin planning for another,
it is a fabulous time to embrace your family's freedom,
making the changes you need to for your family.

Homeschooling does work. 
It works for each family in a unique way.
Find your family's homeschooling path, don't try to walk another's.

And, please, don't let fear stop you from trying something different next year.
Embrace all the freedoms homeschooling has for you!

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Dorie enjoys being outside, photography, art, writing, a strong cup of coffee, and good conversations seasoned with much laughter. She and her drummer husband, Jerry, share a life built on faith in Jesus, love, and grace. They have been blessed with four active children. Each day, whether easy or trying, is a wondrous part of this grace filled journey, and Dorie blogs about them all at These Grace Filled Days. Their homeschooling adventures can be found at Homeschooling Just Next Door. 

Five Mistakes from Our Homeschool Journey

"Failure is only the opportunity to begin again,

only this time more wisely."

- Henry Ford

Certainly, I have experienced many opportunities to begin again
with the mistakes I have made in our homeschooling journey.
Today, I am sharing my 'top five.' 

1.  Overburdening a child academically
Not that I really think you should rank mistakes, but I still think this one was my worst homeschooling mistake, ever.  One of our children advanced through academics very quickly.  Another did not, but I expected her to work at the same pace as her older sibling.  It was a terrible mistake.  One that I hope I never make again. 

Did you know that a llama will simply lie down if you overburden it? Wouldn't it be great if children had a similar signal? Oh, but they do!  Children show us in many ways that they are overburdened. We just have to know our children well enough, and observe/listen well enough to determine if they have been overburdened academically.

"When you get to the end of your rope,

tie a knot and hang on."

- Franklin D. Roosevelt

2.  Not taking advantage of interest led studies
You know that spark you see when a child's eyes shine with interest?  He may ask numerous questions and want to do more with a topic.  Too many times, I haven't fanned these interest sparks into flames.  I should have.  Who knows what great discoveries and learning experiences we missed because I wanted to stick to the lesson plans and not alter them.

3.  Trying to do the same as another family
Yep, been there.  Dare I say it?  More than once.  Every family is unique.  What works for one may not work for another.  Even if you find a family with the same number of children aged exactly like yours, I guarantee, something about your families will be different. Personalities, interests, and budgets vary greatly.  While I find great value in another's suggestions, experiences, and advice, I can not make my homeschool just like theirs.  Nor should I try.

"I don't know the key to success,

but the key to failure is to try to please everyone."

- Bill Cosby

4.  Comparing myself and our children to others
Have you done this?  Tell me I'm not the only one!  Haven't you met another homeschooling family and started comparing yourself or your children?  For me, the other homeschooling family usually gets put on a pedestal.  She is more patient, takes a relevant field trip every week, or prepares her own lessons.  Her children know more math, read harder books, or have more activities.  This better mom/better child comparison does not encourage, and should not be done.

5.   Succumbing to discouragement
It's easy to do.  Mistakes discourage and rob us of the joy of homeschooling.  Moments that I succumb to discouragement, I want to quit.  It is then, that I must remember...we all make mistakes.  It is what we do with the lesson we learn that matters.

"I have not failed. 

I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."

- Thomas Alva Edison

Amidst Chaos...

"Amidst chaos lies opportunity."
-Albert Einstein

I admire mothers who have it all together. Or who have it together enough to appear, you know, to have it together.

And while there are limited areas of my life where I do have things pretty well together, I will admit that homeschooling isn't one of them. It gets crazy around here.

I was more organized with 2 children and only 1 of school age, but adding children seems to make it harder. I certainly don't feel that God has called me to homeschool and limit my family size to make it happen in an, um, orderly fashion...

ON THE CONTRARY! It began to occur to me that the 'chaos' of a large household is actually a true benefit to a homeschooling family, depending on how it is received.

Whaaat?

Well, look with me. With a smaller family, I as a mother, have more time and energy to make plans and execute them smoothly. As more children, and more pregnancies, come along, I am stretched thinner and- let's be real here- formal lessons don't happen with the regularity they would without those pesky morning of puking, or those insane growth spurt days where I nurse a baby so much I hardly have time to go pee.

And did I mention those mornings when the 2 year old wakes up screaming because he's not in his shark pajamas... and he won't calm down... till 10 am???

So what's a responsible homeschooling mama to do?

I'm not sure- hehe- as sometimes I'm definitely not that picture-perfect matron, but I can tell you what I, an average, sometimes wiped out, sometimes cranky pregnant lady with three wild and wooly kids, do on any given day that is so nuts-o I can't even remember what's for lunch, or if there is even anything to fix for lunch.

I sit back, smile really big, and open my eyes to the grace.

While I was calming the 2 year old down, or laying in bad trying not to throw up from ravaging morning sickness, my 8 year-old snuck off to write in his secret journal... or to copy Chinese characters from some packaging material (he's currently obsessed with all things Chinese)... or to build a block tower using every block in the house. And my 5 year old choreographed a dance to the Blue Danube which she can play over and over and over and over on the keyboard... or joined in the block building... or made her own slingshot.

Are these things somehow less educational, less important to their development both academic and human than math pages and grammar excercises? Not to me.

Is a day spent playing with siblings (and yes, fighting and making up with siblings) less worthy than a day spent memorizing verb charts or slaving over math facts? And if I think it is less worthy, why?

I remember very clearly the day I took the school books off the high shelf and put them down on the shelf with all the, well, normal books. And something happened. Learning became somehow more normal... more real to us. Interestingly, my kids choose their 'school' books as often as they choose their other books, but it ceases to be a point of contention if today that poetry anthology doesn't get opened. Am I worried that my children won't learn 'what they need to know' because I don't direct their choices like I did in the days of yore: those everyone-has-quiet-time, snacks-at-3 (and ONLY at 3!), march-to-my-drummer days?

No. I see to much evidence that, for me at least, for my children at least, learning happens ALL the time. I can't stop it, hold it back, even if I want to. And as sick as I get of homemade catapults crowding my yard, endless keyboard jam sessions (WHERE ARE THE HEADPHONES YOU GUYS?!!!), art projects that overflow from the 'art table', and requests for math worksheets to be printed at 10 pm (yes, this happens... it seems to be the time of night when the math angel whispers into my children's ears "don't go to sleep... go wake up your mother and ask for math to do for fun...") I wouldn't trade the exuberance, the shouts, the wild adventure, for anything.


My other realization was that I can't schedule every minute of my children's learning and expect to grow self-motivated learners. I need to trust more that their interests will blossom if they have the time to pursue them... and not just on the 2 hour lesson-break planned every Wednesday afternoon!

Some mamas need to be in control. They want to lead. Some mamas let go of all control and give it over to the children. They let the children lead.

But for me, there's Someone else who leads.

And when life hapens- and OH! does it happen- I remind myself Who is in control. Who is the real Educator. Who gives the Light. Who more than me communicates the important stuff directly to these precious souls in my care.

And He will never let me down.

Combatting Mid-Year Discouragement

Homeschooling is wonderful, most of the time. But, let's face it, some days are tough. Some parts of the year are harder than others. Such is the case with the winter days midway through the school year.

  

This is when the mid-year blues start to rear an ugly head. When, sometimes, we homeschooling moms get discouraged and even start to second guess ourselves or our decision to homeschool.

You know the signs of discouragement.  It may look different for each one of us.  For me, there are three tell tale signs... looking longingly at the school down the street, wanting to call it quits when we've only started the day, and a loss of creativity.

What is a discouraged homeschooling mom to do?

Some successful ways I combat the mid-year blues...

• prayer
• have a heart to heart discussion with my husband
• refocus on why we homeschool
• realize the journey won't be perfect nor will it always be fun
• pinpoint the source of my discouragement and make changes to alleviate it
• seek encouragement and advice from other homeschoolers

Maybe you aren't feeling discouragement right now. Then, perhaps, you could encourage another homeschooling mom.

Whether with family and friends, in a formal or informal support group, on a blog, or in social media you can be a source of encouragement.

A few ways to encourage discouraged moms...

• prayer
• honestly sharing your own experiences and struggles
• meeting her for coffee or tea, or a social visit (without the kids)
• offering to help in an area of struggle or discouragement

Discouragement isn't confined to the winter days midway through a school year. No, discouragement rears its ugly head anywhere, anytime for anyone of us.

If you are in a season of discouragement, know that you are not alone. Probably every homeschooling mom has felt it at one point or another.  I have been there. And, today, I want you to know, you can do this homeschooling thing. You are capable, and you will succeed!

If you are not in a season of discouragement, look around you. Is there a mom you can encourage today? Reach out using one of the ideas listed above, or add another way to encourage in the comment section.  Then, we will all benefit from your ideas.

Reflecting on Our First Few Months

I've been reflecting back on our first few months of homeschooling, and it's amazing how far we have come in just a few months! So, since this will be my final post here for 2011, I wanted to share what I've learned in our first 4 months of homeschooling.

10. Glitter glue rocks.  So do wonder color markers and washable crayons. 

9.   Don't worry about not keeping up with the local schools. The main reason I'm homeschooling is to NOT do the same things.

8.   Each child learns at their own pace. Do not compare them.

7.   Just because I think it's a wonderful idea to color code the craft drawers does not mean the preschooler will agree. {ahem}

6.   Craft supplies can be anything from a cardboard tube to a stash of colorful *bling* from my scrapbook drawer.

5.   Go with their learning style. Sophie is going to be interest led, while Bella {at the moment} is leaning all planned out {like me!}

4.   Take a break if you need to. There's nothing wrong with taking a fun day so you can all step back and breathe.

3.    Going with #4....breathe.  Just breathe.

2.    Involve others in your homeschool! The girls love it when Daddy is in charge of school.  Grammie Aury also did school with the girls while we were on vacation - it's good to switch it up!

1.   You are going to have good days.  You are going to have bad days. Write out why you are homeschooling and post it. Refer to it on one of *those* days {we all have them!} and remember that you are in this for the long haul - it's not a sprint.

Next week will be full of fun here on Growing Your Homeschool with giveaways scheduled Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday! 

Aurie Good is a pastor's wife, a "retired" youth minister, and probably the most relaxed mom that you'll ever meet!  She blogs at Our Good Life with quips about life as a stay at home mom to two girly toddlers, two wild & crazy dogs, and one cranky cat.  She is married to her best friend and consider the simple life that they've created absolute bliss!  They are currently embarking on a new path of fostering to adopt medically fragile infants and are thrilled to see where God leads them!

From Comparing to Cooperating

Fair or not, when homeschoolers encounter other homeschoolers, we sometimes begin to compare.  She does better at {fill in the blank}, and I am worse at {fill in the blank}.  And, even if we avoid using the 'than' comparisons, we may evaluate in another way.  "Her daughter is reading unabridged classics in second grade!"  "Wow, their child speaks four foreign languages and is beginning college level courses at age 14!"  As a result, we may begin to find our value in the comparison, ranking ourselves, our homeschools, and our children.

While it is incredible to learn about, celebrate, and be inspired by the successes of others, it is important to not find our own worth in a comparison.  Each family's homeschool is unique and gifted differently.  Where our homeschool excels, another may be challenged.  Where our homeschool stumbles and falls flat on its face, another excels.  Instead of constantly comparing and evaluating, might we try another way?  A way of cooperation inspired by the timely example of Thanksgiving.

The Lesson of Thanksgiving
When the Pilgrims first came to the New World, it was autumn.  They faced incredible difficulties and unimaginable hardships that first winter.  By spring, they were fewer in number and strength.  They had to succeed or face another winter starving.  The local experts, Native Americans, taught the Pilgrims survival skills specific to the New World.  By harvest time, the Pilgrims enjoyed a time of plenty, and celebrated with the Native Americans.  They gave thanks for the bountiful harvest.

As homeschoolers, we have many opportunities to do something similar for one another by stopping the comparisons, finding value in our differences, learning from one another, enjoying the blessings of sharing, and giving thanks. 

This is something that I find here in our cooperative blog and many other helpful sites around the web.  However, the internet isn't the only place to find cooperative encouragement.  Many of us are also blessed with outstanding local support groups or fellow homeschool friends.  Each day, encouragement and cooperation may just be a click, phone call, or visit away, as we all work toward growing our homeschools. 

And for this I am grateful.

Time-Savers

If there is one things all families wish for, it is more time. Here are some parts of my routine that are 'must do' items. They save time and (more importantly, sanity) on my part each day.

1) Look over lesson plans the night before. I often do this while the children are falling asleep - sometimes one of my kids would like me to sit with them while they drop off, so I can be present for them as well as accomplish something.

2) Set out tomorrow's items. After I've skimmed the lesson plans, I make a stack for each child that contains all the necessary books, papers and assignments for the day. I also set out my teaching materials and read-out-loud books.

3) Pack sack lunches. Even if we end up being home, I have one cold meal prepared ahead of time during the day. But if we need or want to go somewhere, we don't even have to think about food. There are already sandwiches and cut apples ready to go!

4) Think about supper. What is the plan for the one hot meal I'm going to serve tomorrow? I can gather ingredients or take things from the freezer. When four o'clock arrives the next day, I won't have to wonder what I'm doing.

4b) I know I already talked about a hot meal, but I often like to make our hot meal over lunch time (we frequently participate in evening activities). It can save a lot of time to enjoy a hot meal over the noon-hour, clean your kitchen, and then it is basically closed until the next morning since you have already completed #3.

5) Read during meals. We enjoy many of the sessions where I read to the children during breakfast and lunch. It keeps me at a slow pace, allows everyone time to enjoy their meal, and stimulates discussion. Plus, you are doing two things at once. I love that.

6) Keep your materials organized. Looking for something you need but can't find is one of life's greatest time-suckers. I am not a very neat person, but I have found that what I lack in neatness I can make up for in being consistent. I keep my school items in the same place, forever and ever, amen. There may be some skewed looking stacks, but I know somewhere in that stack is the 'great science discoveries' book. You know why? Because those are the school shelves and that is the science section. I would never put the book anywhere else.

6b) Take time to put your school things away when you are finished for the day. We used to have a dedicated area (desks, chalk board, etc) for schooling, but we never really used it. So we use our kitchen table and it's been a great choice for us. Instead we have a designated bookshelf that has sections for everyone/thing. We put everything away when it's time for lunch. This helps encourage the kids to pick up (they want to eat!) and facilitates #6.

7) Schedule breaks. It really helps everyone to take ten or fifteen minutes off before they start to suffer brain-drain. I like to include chores in our breaks - Everyone make their beds and pick up ten items in their room! On your marks, get set, GO!

8) When the dishwasher is clean, unload it right away. When the dryer buzzes, fold and put away those clothes. Then they will be empty when you need them. It's so simple to toss the dirty lunch dishes right into the washer. It's discouraging when they are piled all over the counter because the dishwasher is full of clean dishes. These are also more fun when you do them all together.

9) Delegate. You are schooling at home. Your children need to learn practical skills as well as feel good about contributing to their family. Your child is only three? I bet you can teach them how to fold washcloths, knead dough and wipe things down. It takes longer, but it is worth the time investment.

10) Keep an accurate and current calendar. I keep mine on the computer, but cell phone or paper is fine too. And check it every day. You would hate to be that person that the pediatric dentist calls wondering why you aren't there with your children for their appointments (not that it's every happened to me)...

What do you feel costs you the most time in your day? What saves you the most?