Homeschooling with Google (and online resource list)

Back when my mom first began homeschooling me over 20 years ago, the choices for curriculum were much different. You either bought the same materials used in the schools (public or private), or you made your own from what you could find at the library and at garage sales.

Today, there is the internet—and oh, how that has changed the homeschool scenery! High speed information just a click away. With all of the resources of the internet, it really is doable to homeschool for free or nearly free if you choose to. However, what you save in cash you spend in time. Pioneering through the wilderness of cyber space is no easy task. You've got to know what you're looking for and where to look. So, here are a few tips that will have you well on your way to constructing your own Google curriculum.

Know What You Need

You'll never find what you need if you have no idea what that is. Google is close to miraculous, but the computer does not read your mind.

What I have found helpful is a unit study planner. Even if you are not necessarily taking the "unit study" approach, these planners are helpful for defining objectives and listing resources as you find them. You will need to know what you hope to study and some basic objectives. Brainstorm what you'd like to find: information, worksheets, maps, notebooking pages, library books, lesson plans, etc. Then, begin brainstorming some search phrases.

Know Where to Look

It may help, when you first begin to search, to go to particular websites rather that search the entire internet. Knowing specifically where to look can save you a lot of time, particularly if someone else has already done the searching for you. Squidoo, for instance, has a number of lenses (long posts) where the author has numerous links and valuable information on particular topics already gathered for you. (NOTE: You do not have to create an account to search the site.) Search Squidoo for your Ancient Egypt study, rather than the world-wide-web, and save yourself some time. Pinterest is another great place for searching other people's collections.

If you are in need of research information on a particular topic, begin with reputable sources. Not everything you find on the internet is reliable information, even if it comes from Wikipedia. The best information comes from either government websites, university websites, or "name brand" websites like National Geographic, PBS.org, etc. In fact, many of these websites may have lesson plans to download and use on particular topics—another tremendous time-saver.

When you do get around to using a search engine, a good search phrase is the key. For instance, when I'm searching for graphics, "free clip art" brings up images that are royalty-free but still require a charge to download them. Instead, "public domain clip art" has been a much better search term. Though there are tips for creating a good search phrase, most often a good search just requires several tries. To help with this, brainstorm different ways of phrasing what you are looking for, at least until you get the hang of crafting the perfect phrase.

Know Where the Freebies Are

Sometimes, it just helps to be in the right place at the right time. Attend Facebook and Twitter parties for free giveaways; visit the sites that find the freebies for you (my most recent favorite is FreeHomeschoolDeals.com); sign up for notification emails for the products or subjects that you are interested in; join forums where other moms share about their latest finds.

This strategy is especially effective if you plan way ahead. For instance, I know that next summer I want to study plants and gardening with the kids. As I run across those free resources, I snatch them up and file them away for next spring/summer's study. I'm not spending hours at a time searching; I'm just keeping my eyes open.

Homeschooling does not have to break the bank. Before you decide you can't afford to educate your children at home, spend a little time on the web. I think you'll be surprised at how far your budget can go.

Need a little more inspiration, visit 10 Days of Homeschooling for Free and Frugal and read tips from a homeschool mom who has educated her kids for less than $100 a year for the last four years!


To get you started on your search, I've compiled a list of some helpful online resources. Feel free to add your own favorites in the comments section. Happy searching!

Tracy is a pastor's wife and homeschool mom of three. She herself was homeschooled from 1st grade to graduation and, after college, had the opportunity to write and edit for the Christian textbook publisher A Beka Book. Tracy loves a rainy day, a cup of coffee (lots of cream and sugar), and Rachmaninoff. She blogs at Growing In Grace.

Online Resource List

Worksheets and Worksheet Generators

School Sparks (Pre-K and K5 worksheets) 

Letter of the Week (Pre-K and K5 printables) 

Preschool Packs
Free Preschool Curriculum

Printable Cursive Worksheets

Create-your-own Handwriting Worksheets 

Printable Math Worksheets

Create-your-own Math Worksheets
Over 11,000 Math Worksheets

Printable and Create-your-own Worksheets (all subjects/grade levels) 

More Printable Worksheets (all subjects/grade levels)

Lapbooking/Notebooking Resources

Homeschool Share
Notebooking Fairy
Practical Pages 
Notebooking Pages
Notebooking Nook

Miscellaneous 

Free Geography Study and printables

Free Animal Unit Study (scroll to bottom of page)

Free "World's Greatest Artists" study 

Free Unit Studies (history/social studies/science)

More Free Unit Studies
Free All-in-One curriculum

DonnaYoung.org (tons of free resources for every subject/grade, plus lesson planners and more)
NewBeeHomeschooler.com (free homeschool planner forms)

Currclick.com (regular freebies on a variety of products)

FreeHomeschoolDeals.com 

Homeschool Buyers Co-op (deep discounts on tons of curriculum)

Look What We Did (link-up with lots of ideas from other homeschoolers)

Tackling the Trivium

I have been eagerly waiting for two years to begin this next year. Up until now, we've focused on reading skills, math, and some basic geography. This fall, my son will be entering first grade, and we will begin our first year of a classical education.

Our core curriculum for this year will be Tapestry of Grace, a classical curriculum that beautifully integrates classical study for multiple ages with a strong foundation in Bible and church history. Eventually, our writing, literature, and art will tie in with the history, geography, Bible, and church history studies. But for right now, just starting out, we'll use Tapestry for history and Bible with a little geography sprinkled in, enjoying the fun projects and read-alouds without adding a lot of pressure to "do it all."

For first grade phonics and spelling, we will be continuing with A Beka, adjusting it as we need to fit our family and our homeschool style. His reading will be a mix of the A Beka readers, saved from the days when I was homeschooled, and some Tapestry books.

We'll be using A Beka first grade math as well, but this year, I'm armed with materials to supplement when we get stuck or when A Beka moves too quickly. Math Mammoth has been the perfect solution for us to supplement A Beka. I love how smoothly the material presents each concept and progresses through the drills. The curriculum is a download program, which makes it extremely affordable and very convenient for use as a supplement. It also provides a number of games suggestions and internet resources for each concept being introduced. I love this curriculum! (Math Mammoth also offers a ton of free samples on the website.)

These are our priorities, our everyday subjects. I also intend to add science and art appreciation into our school year, but more as activities than as a complete subject. I ran across the idea of "one more thing" in the afternoon that is perfect for what I want to do with these activities. For science, I'm putting together some unit studies on anatomy and nutrition using a mix of resources from our own library of Usborne books and some internet resources and notebooking pages.

For art, we usually pick one artist and one composer to study sporadically throughout the year. This summer, for instance, we will be learning about Monet and Mendelssohn. I haven't yet decided which artist we'll be using in the fall. For our art study, I usually use the material from Harmony Fine Arts first grade curriculum (this is my second year to use this one year's worth of curriculum; it's immense!).

My daughter is starting K4; and instead of buying new books for her, I'm collating the papers we did not use from A Beka's ABC-123 book and A Beka's K5 book. We'll have more than enough when I supplement with Letter of the Week K4 and School Sparks downloads. So, essentially, I'm getting by with a free year of school for her. She'll also be tagging along in our other subjects as much as she wants to.

That's our year, in as much detail as I've planned out so far. We've had so much fun these last two years  that I absolutely cannot wait to begin this next stage of our journey.

Tracy is a pastor's wife and homeschool mom of three. She herself was homeschooled from 1st grade to graduation and, after college, had the opportunity to write and edit for the Christian textbook publisher A Beka Book. Tracy loves a rainy day, a cup of coffee (lots of cream and sugar), and Rachmaninoff. She blogs at Growing In Grace.

Four Fast Fun Facts About Our Bloggers Featuring.....Samantha & Tracy!

This week, since it is party week, I thought it would be fun to share some fun info about our bloggers.  Each blogger was given a  list of fun questions, and asked to choose from that list four fast fun facts they would like to share about themselves.  This week we are featuring Samantha and Tracy.

Samantha 

Where is one fun place would you like to visit that you have never been to before?


 The ocean. I'd love to see the ocean.


Do you have a favorite fun food combo?


I love cinnamon toast and chocolate milk. (I don't dip or anything, but love the two together.)

What is one little known fun fact you would like to share about yourself?


I am a horribly picky eater, and I randomly discard bites I deem unworthy, for reasons such as being too thick or unattractive, or if the meal doesn't even out at the end.

What fun activities do you like to do in your "free" time?


Obsess about homeschooling and re-plan our entire curriculum future. I do this often, I think I need a step program!


To learn more about Sam, or to read her blog, you can visit her at Sam's NOGGIN.

 

Tracy 

‎What is one little known fact you would like to share about yourself?

 I did ballet for about 12 years and had my own studio at age 15, teaching girls to dance and planning performances as a high school job.

What fun activities do you like to do in your "free" time?


I am a google-addict. I love to find the answers to all my quirky questions. Also, I do love to plan our homeschool, years in advance of what I really need to do.

Do you have a favorite fun food combo?


One food combo that I grew up on is peanut butter and syrup mixed to a smooth blend and spooned onto a graham cracker. We called it the poor man's dessert.

‎Where is one fun place would you like to visit that you have never been before?


 I'd love to tour the ballparks of America, especially the older ones that are still in use. Not only would the nostalgia be awesome, but I'd also have a great excuse for all the ballpark food!




To learn more about Tracy, or to read her blogs, please visit her at Growing In Grace or Homekeepers.




Thank you ladies for sharing more about yourselves!  Please check back next Friday to learn about two more of our bloggers when they share four fast fun facts about themselves at Growing Your Homeschool!

A Successful Lesson in Failure

I actually confronted the issue of failure recently with my kindergartener. In our second year of homeschooling, failure just hadn't come up before.

Then, we started to struggle with addition, and my default-plan of letting my son choose his best papers to show his father wasn't giving my husband a complete picture of how we were really doing. As I talked over our struggles with my husband, he was a little confused; after all, he saw only success and mastery. I decided I'd better make some changes to my default-plan. And that's what led to my discovery that I was failing to truly teach about failure.

The next day, my son worked a math sheet and missed several addition problems. Together we talked through the right answers to the problems that I had checked. He reworked the problems with me and then I broke the news to him: "We're going to show Daddy this page, because he needs to know what we have trouble with as well as what we're doing well in." Immediately my son burst into tears. Suddenly, I understood the unintentional lesson I was teaching my son.

Inadvertently, I was teaching him that only success brought reward, that only perfection brought the attention that he wanted. I wasn't giving my husband the opportunity to praise my son for determination or perseverance; my son was only receiving his daddy's praise for perfect papers. It wasn't a lesson either my husband or I had planned to teach, and it definitely wasn't our view of success. But regardless, my son had already shaped the idea in his head that approval was gained through perfection.

Daddy came home that day, and my son sheepishly showed him the marked-up paper. And the most beautiful lesson unfolded: a lesson of love despite imperfection, a lesson of approval for a best effort, and a lesson of praise for character rather than performance. As I watched my husband and my son interact, I couldn't help but wonder at how close I came to missing out on this moment.

What if I had chosen to show the paper to my husband without my son's knowledge? What if I had caved to my son's tears and decided not to show that paper at all? What if I had continued with our trend of only showing off the best?

My son would probably not have been scarred for life had we not addressed the issue of failure in this way; but then again, he might very well have developed an attitude of success vs. failure that would begin to shape his future.

By allowing my child to fail, I was teaching him about success. (<Tweet This)

It was a valuable lesson for all of us, and not one I would have ever thought to pencil into the curriculum or schedule into my lesson planner. 

Memories of a Homeschooled Homeschooler: the schedule

I have memories of my mom surrounded by books and tons of paper in the corner of our home that was her "office." Usually, she was either in the midst of taxes and bookkeeping or scheduling our homeschool. We went through a lot of schedules during my homeschool years, and like any great master, Mom was always sure we could do something better or more efficiently. Tweak this subject here, add a little more time there, take out this activity and move it to that time slot.

But we were kids, and school was—well—school, no matter where we did it. And I know we didn't give her an easy time, in spite of her schedule overhauls. Because of all that scheduling though, we did have time for a lot of really unique experiences that have made for fond memories.

As little kids, we did four day school for a long time. So as early as second grade, I learned how to take five days worth of assignments and work to get it all done in four days. Each one of those four days, I'd work ahead one assignment in at least one subject until I'd earned my extra day off. We loved those three day weekends!

When we got older, working ahead was much harder to accomplish each week, but we still plotted out our assignments and worked ahead where we could for that end goal: to finish school as early in the year as possible. When other kids took extra holidays, spring breaks, and snow days (in Texas, snow days rarely had the same significance as they might in other states), we worked tirelessly, though sometimes reluctantly, toward that goal. And it paid off. We often had the bragging rights of the neighborhood, having finished all of our school books in mid April or early May while everyone else plodded along for another 4-6 more weeks.

In high school, Mom's scheduling paid off significantly as she helped us plan our extra-curricular activities into our school day. My junior and senior year of high school, I had the opportunity to work part-time at our local newspaper office and have my own ballet studio where I gave lessons and planned performances.

Then, the real test came—college. All of Mom's hours surrounded by stacks of books and loose paper finally culminated in one great overall success. After watching my mom plan scores upon scores of schedules through the years, my first freshman college schedule was a breeze. Seventeen years old and 12 hours from home, I remembered all those lessons of scheduling and planning and breaking down large tasks, lessons that my mom probably wasn't always aware that she was teaching me.

And when I began to teach college English and writing classes, I was more often teaching my students how to schedule their time than I was tutoring them in the rudiments of grammar.

So for all of you homeschool moms who think you are "ruining" your children or their homeschool experience with all of your tweaks and overhauls to the schedule, take heart. Include your kids in the process. There's some valuable learning going on behind those wadded up pieces of paper.

Read more of Tracy's Homeschool Memories or follow her current homeschool journey.

Homeschool Memoirs: the When and Where

I have the unique opportunity to be a homeschooled homeschooler. And though I still have many of the same questions as other new homeschool moms, there's no doubt my memories (and my Mom) play a huge role in answering some of those questions. So, I'm going to try writing a series of homeschool memoirs, in hopes that maybe some of your questions might get answered, too.

My earliest homeschool memories are of doing school at the kitchen table, with a blue dish tub full of A Beka homeschool books, and my mom trying her best to mirror the experience we'd had in our private school setting. My younger sister schooled at the table with me, and my brother (six years older) did his work in his bedroom, away from our elementary noise. Kindergarten, second grade, and eighth grade was what my mother began with, back when homeschooling was much less defined and understood.

We said our pledge, sang choruses, memorized Bible verses, and practiced math speed drills with the same regularity I'd known in the classroom. And any time there was any deviation, I would remind my mother, "That's not how Mrs. Bell did it."

But we grew and learned together. We turned from strictly A Beka to a mix of curriculum, and I welcomed Mom's changes more graciously.

When I was twelve, we sold our house, moved to some acreage, and began living in a 40 ft. RV while Dad worked on building a new house. For two years, we did homeschool at the small table or back bedroom mattress of our RV. It was a true testament that learning can take place absolutely anywhere.

And while other children assumed homeschooling meant that I had the privilege of going to school at 10 a.m. in my pajamas, it was far from our reality. At 5:30 every morning we were dressed and outside bottle-feeding our calves. I was finishing up with my other chores and heading inside for school as the local school bus flew down our dirt road with the other school-aged kids. We were done with school when our work was done.

We took our school on the road to dentist appointments, grocery trips, dance lessons, and homeschool co-op meetings. I learned to concentrate on an assignment through an assortment of chaos and learned to memorize a list of spelling words through any number of distractions.

When I was about fourteen, our house was finished enough to move in. Bare cement floors and walls without sheet rock were a very welcome change to our tiny home in the RV. My school space moved around through out a day from kitchen table, to bedroom vanity, to a desk inside a large walk-in book closet. Our curriculum changed yearly as well. For one, there were more options now. And, too, we knew when to identify when something just wasn't working. My sister studied from one curriculum, I learned from a couple of others, and we made changes as necessary.

Overall, the greatest lesson I took from this experience was the fact that education is not a one-size fits all. Different lifestyles, patterns of life, and personalities all factor into the decisions of when, where, and even how of homeschooling. Now, as I launch out on my own journey, I'm more free with curriculum and confident that I do know my children best. And although I thoroughly enjoy our school room space, I know it really doesn't matter where we pull out the books.

Learning is not a place or a textbook; it's a process—a glorious, stressful, fun, terrifying, fabulous experience that teaches a family much more than math and history. It teaches us to make every memory a learning moment.

Room for Improvement

Our start to homeschooling last year began with a rocky start, a long break for re-evaluation, and then a much more successful second attempt.

And this year—well, it hasn't been without it's own adjustments. It seems that everyday, I'm tweaking our schedule, our system, and our material. And everyday, I'm closer to where I'd like to be. Of course, there are those days when success comes to a screeching halt and triumph throws a tantrum in my school room floor. But then, I call it a day, re-evalutate (again), and tweak a little bit more.

It's been in the midst of all that tweaking that I've come to appreciate a few of the opportunities that come from the fine-tuning:

1. Involving others in the solution. Sometimes a situation is more than I can handle on my own. That's a tough reality to accept. But I can't educate my children by myself. And yet that humbling reality leads to a much richer discovery in the help I receive from others.

My husband has been one of those heros, coming in to save my day. Discussing the school day with my husband and including any frustrations or challenges I've faced allows him to stay connected with the family. And his objective advice on those situations has, on many occasions, been exactly what we all needed.

My mom has also been a huge contributor. Having homeschooled me and my two siblings, she has the perspective and retrospection that I often lack. From her, I get to hear what she found helpful and what she would have done differently.

Other homeschoolers also offer a wealth of wisdom. I interact with internet homeschool groups and even occasionally send questions to my favorite bloggers. Their perspectives and advice have often been revolutionary for me. And the beauty of the internet is that it doesn't matter that they are homeschooling all the way across the country; they can instantly become my cyber-neighbors.

2. Realizing my own short-comings. I'm not perfect. And facing that fact, that I could be the one at fault and not my student, is extremely helpful in a couple of ways. First, it allows me to be more patient with my children's short-comings (especially when I see that they've inherited those faults from me). Second, it forces me to depend on a Strength outside of myself. For when I am weak, then is God's strength most evident. Both my children and myself are able to see the Lord answer prayer and become a vital part of our homeschooling day.

3. Learning and understanding more than ever before. I've heard many times that you learn a subject best when you begin to teach it. Whether that subject is phonics and reading or modern art and poetry, teaching forces you to learn. Like the mother bird digesting the food for her chicks, I must digest every fact before I present it. And that is one thing I want my children to see: that you never outgrow learning.

4. Discovering who my children really are. I've learned more about my children and their personalities in the last several months of schooling them than ever before, in spite of hours of playing blocks and capturing imaginary bad guys. I see how they react to challenges. I see their response to success. I see what does and does not motivate them. And I see every time their eyes light up with understanding. I'm a part of nearly every moment of discovery, and that does more than just create a special bond. It also prepares me for my role as a parent.

Taking my lessons from the school room, I better understand what will provoke my child to wrath and frustration. I have keener understanding of what motivates and inspires my child. And with that knowledge comes a higher accountability to make the most of the opportunities I have with each child to nurture and admonish in the Lord.

5. Recognizing that homeschooling is not a place or state of being but a process and a journey. It's not about where we are educating; it's about how we are educating. It's about having the opportunity to make those adjustments rather than to helplessly look on while a child stumbles through learning. It's about the privilege of taking a breather together and facing the challenge once more, united rather than at odds. It's about having the means to administer the changes that are necessary.

Heading into our second year now, I'm certain we will constantly be making adjustments. But I want to see those adjustments as more than just rescheduling recess or pulling out a new activity. The changes do help my child to learn better, but they also provide an opportunity for me to learn as well.

Taking Writing by Storm

For a few years, I had the opportunity to teach college-level English and writing classes, and one of my favorite classes to teach was creative writing. It was an elective class required for English and Writing majors as well as English minors. I had pre-law students, engineers, and history majors mixed in with the others, students who by no means considered themselves to be writers.

The first day of class was always exciting. To walk into that room of intimidated and bug-eyed students who had been forced to take a college level creative writing class and convince them that they could have a good time was always a highlight of my year. Breaking through the barriers they had set up in their minds was my favorite challenge. They were not all talented, and they didn't all leave my class as burgeoning writers. But they left with capability and an appreciation.

Over my next several posts, I want to share a few tips and ideas that might help you break through the barriers your child might have set up in his mind, to help him become capable and appreciative.

Taking Writing by Storm: the Brainstorm

The brainstorm stage is the first step to writing, but many students get stuck before they've even begun. Staring at that blank sheet of paper is absolute torture and makes writing a paper or a story that much more miserable. But brainstorming can take several different forms. Choosing the right form for your child, or experimenting with all of them, could be the first step in knocking down the walls of resistance.

1. The list of ideas. This is the traditional take on the brainstorm, but here's what I always recommended to my students. Write down anything that comes to mind, even if it's off-topic or a bad idea. There is no such thing as a bad idea on a brainstorm. Even bad ideas can inspire good ideas. Set a timer, turn off the inner-censors, and storm. Let your mind belch ideas on paper. Don't worry about organization or connections or anything besides just ideas at this point. Don't worry about parallelism: the ideas can be adjectives, nouns, verbs, or adverbs; they can be complete thoughts or fragments; and they might even be doodles in the margins.

2. The sketch. Some of us think best in pictures, not lists of words. Another great brainstorm tactic, especially for a story brainstorm, is to draw a picture. Let your child sketch what he sees in his mind about his story. He may be able to develop the character only after he's drawn that character. He may be able to describe the setting only after he's sketched it. Let him doodle and draw and sketch as part of his brainstorm process. Then, after the drawings are complete, let him make his list of words from the drawing he has created. Keep in mind, your child doesn't have to be an artist for this to work; he only has to be a visual learner.

3. The cloud. If you see that your child has only five words on his brainstorm, you might see if your child thinks best in the form of relationships. In other words, sketch five clouds and put one of his words in each cloud. Then, have him brainstorm for each word. He may be able to fill out his brainstorm by thinking of ideas related to those five keywords. Or, the process of writing something—anything—might lead him to a totally different and unrelated but absolutely brilliant idea.

4. The narration. Do you have an auditory learner? Or a child who just loves to talk? Try narrating the brainstorm. This could take a number of forms. Your child could do the talking while you write down his ideas; your child could do the talking and then pause to write down his own ideas; or you could get your child a mini-recorder to talk into, then have him listen and write down what he said. Have him talk to the character. Have him talk as the character. Have him talk to the character's best friend. Have him ask questions to the general of the army on which he is doing his report, and then write down those questions as leads for his research. And you don't have to sit silent. Ask your own questions to lead him and inspire more conversation. A few things to be careful about here: don't do the storming for him, don't feed him ideas, don't tell him what he's "thinking." Remember that you are giving him cues only. Think of the prompter during a play, whispering key lines and first words to get the stunned actor back into the script.

5. The rant. Many of us think better when we are writing complete sentences in paragraph form. I think this is why so many students are tempted to write the brainstorm after they've written the first draft: they just can't think in lists. So let your child write, similar to a brainstorm, but in a flow of thought rather than a list. The ideas don't have to make sense, don't have to be in the right order, and don't have to be complete sentences. Don't worry about grammar or mechanics. Just write. It might even start with, "I have absolutely nothing to write about. I hate writing. I hate writing this paper," which is why I called this "the rant." The only rule is that your child cannot stop writing until he's reached a certain length or a certain time limit. There is something about writing itself that sometimes frees up the ideas. Even if it starts as a rant, at the end of five minutes or a full page (front and back) he's probably thought of something. Then, take that "something" and repeat the process, using the "something" as his cue.

There are so many methods or mix of methods we could discuss, but I hope that I've provided a few "cues" for you to use. Brainstorming, is in essence, whatever it takes to get your ideas flowing. And if you can help your child discover what way works best for him, you haven't just taught him how to write; you've helped him learn how to think.

Combatting Self-Criticism

On some occasions, the harsh criticism of others can be crippling, but most often the criticism that does the most damage in our lives is our own. Self-criticism is a more deadly poison because we often don't set up any guards against it; we have no defenses.

It happens when I compare myself to others, or when I'm embarrassed that my child didn't perform up to par in public. It happens when I feel defeated after a bad day rather than determined to find a better solution. And it happens subtly, when I mutter "we homeschool" under my breath and feel as though I might ought to offer an apology for that fact.

Self-criticism is sneaky and subtle, yet overpowering. And the best way to defend against it is to stay alert to its tactics and to prepare for it.

Recognizing Self-Criticism.

The first step to guarding against self-criticism is recognizing its tactics, knowing where it's likely to attack, and the verbal assault that it is about to launch. It could happen at your local homeschool group, or at your favorite blog. It could happen on Facebook or while you are chatting with your friend. Instead of rejoicing in someone else's success, we immediately notice the differences. And the self-criticism begins its attack: "We don't do it that way." "I never would have thought of that." "I couldn't possibly do more than we're doing already." And then, from noticing the differences, suddenly those differences make us feel inferior: "No wonder we struggle." "I'm just not cut out for this." "I could never be that kind of a homeschool parent." We resort to absolute statements of "always" and the even more common "never." Then, we resign ourselves to defeat and discouragement.

Defending with Realism.

Ironically, many of us who struggle the most with self-criticism claim to be realists. We're just "facing the facts," we say. And yet, it's probably more true that we are omitting certain facts.

For instance, I only occasionally post about our bad days on my blog. Every now and then I will have caught it on camera or will have learned something valuable enough from the experience to warrant publishing it to the world. But everyone's natural tendency is to present only our best for the world to scrutinize. Remember that as you drool over someone's curriculum, school room, or craft-filled lesson plans; remember that their children throw tantrums and color on walls, too.

Another dose of realism is to recount your own successes: the things your children have learned, the days that were highlights of education, the moments when the light went on for your children. If you find yourself a frequent victim of self-criticism, keep a journal of your high moments and refer back to this often. Bottom-line: remind yourself of the reality that everyone has lows and that you, too, have some highs worth remembering.

Personally, I find myself most susceptible to self-criticism when I feel that I have something to prove. I put more pressure on my children to succeed in public, and I put more pressure on myself to do things perfectly. And the result is that I'm destined for defeat. It's the fear of man, and it's a guaranteed snare.

One of the most powerful quotes in my life, one that I come back to over and over again says:

"I live before an Audience of One. Before others I have nothing to gain, nothing to prove, nothing to lose." --Os Guinness

When self-criticism fingers its way into your day, recognize its tactics, be prepared to face it off with reality, and then remember to whom you are accountable. There's only One opinion worth worrying about.

To read all of Tracy's posts on "Combatting Criticism," click here.

Combatting Criticism: The Art of Shrugging

I've had to teach my son the art of the shrug. It began when several times a day he would come to me in a heated fury with a remark like, "Mommy, she said I wasn't a boy!"

What do you tell a four year old who feels his masculinity is in question? Well, I told my son to shrug it off. "You are a boy, aren't you? You know you are. So just shrug it off, son. It's not worth a fight."

But "shrugging" criticism isn't always easy. The hurtful remarks and cynicism can pierce pretty deeply sometimes. Why? Because the words prey upon our fears and doubts. When our convictions aren't nailed down, when we feel a little uneasy or inadequate, the criticism haunts us.

The key to defending yourself against this criticism is not lashing out in fury and reacting on the outside, but establishing your defenses on the inside.

• Forming Conviction. Criticism absolutely demolishes weak convictions. If I'm only "more or less" convinced of what I ought to be doing, then I start to second guess my motives. Some re-evaluation is healthy, but constantly doubting your conviction leaves you paralyzed with fear. If my conviction is based only on what "feels right" without the concrete answers to anchor the conviction, criticism has an easy target.

• Gaining Confidence. Bottom-line: confidence comes through experience. When your convictions have weathered a few storms and remained buoyant, confidence begins to break through the clouds. Confidence is not an evil, by the way; close-mindedness is. You can be confident in your conviction, while remaining open to better ways of accomplishing your goals. When you have confidence, the focus is on finding better solutions.

• Remembering the Cause. Sometimes, it's not the lack of conviction that makes us an easy target. Rather, it's the feelings of inadequacy. We aren't sure we are carrying out our convictions in the best way. I don't know any homeschool parent who hasn't stopped at one point or another and had to ask, "What on earth am I doing?" But realizing that others feel equally inadequate is a defense in itself. Your feeling of inadequacy doesn't make you inadequate. Remember why you are striving and what you are striving for.

Chances are, when you remember the cause you are striving for, you will be less concerned with how smooth the march becomes. Most battles are not won with a straight charge ahead, but with a series of charges and retreats. So your homeschool might not be as creative, as structured, as routine, as ordered, as whatever as someone else's. What does it matter?

Do you know that you are doing what God has called you to do? Then do it with all your might. God knows, and you know. So together, let's practice the art of shrugging: deep breath, shoulders up. Now let it all go.

For more on "Combatting Criticism," visit Tracy's blog Growing in Grace.

Defining Your Homeschool Style

The beauty of homeschooling is the freedom to do what fits your family. Rather than an institution with a set schedule and a set curriculum that everyone must follow, a homeschool is essentially tutoring. You are your child's own personal tutor, catering to his needs, his learning style, and your family's lifestyle.

As freeing as that is, it begs a number of questions. What is my style? What are my children's needs? What are my priorities? What do I want my homeschool to look like?

If that's where you are right now, then take a moment to draw a picture, complete a vision worksheet, or in some other way get a concrete idea of what you envision.

• Is it a tidy school room with textbooks and workbooks for every subject? Is it nature walks and messy crafts, a kitchen converted into a laboratory?

• Is it fun at every turn, or character-building studies? Is it structured with tests and quizzes, or embellished with library books and notebooking pages?

• Is it an 8:00 to 3:00 schedule, or whenever life happens?

Next, think through your priorities. Who do you want your child to be at the end of the journey? What will be your emphasis?

• Is it Biblical knowledge and character training?

• Is it pursuing your child's passions and interests?

• Is it critical thinking and depth of expression?

These questions help to define your style and purpose. They serve to narrow your search for curriculum and materials. But homeschooling is life in action.

In other words, your vision and purpose statement will probably be changing and evolving along the way. Child #3 may not follow your vision nearly as well as Child #1 and #2 did. That's okay. Go through the process once more for that particular child. Remember for each child, you are their own one-on-one tutor. Resist the urge to institutionalize your family and enjoy the journey of discovery at each bend in the road.

Need a little extra help finding your style?

• Find explanations for several common homeschooling styles.
• Check out these free ebooks on choosing curriculum.
• Try this free ecourse for more info on different homeschooling styles and find recommendations for the curriculum to match your style.

Tracy's style is rather eclectic right now but gearing up for a classical twist. You can read more about her homeschool journey at Growing In Grace.

False Starts and Failures

I began our homeschool journey last fall with lots of enthusiasm and a lot of confidence. After all, I'd been homeschooled from the end of first grade all the way through to graduation. I'd even written and edited for a Christian textbook company. I knew the ins and outs and ups and downs.

What I didn't count on was a four-year-old attention span and a two-year-old distraction. My beautiful school room, shiny new workbooks, carefully laid out teaching plans, and creative displays could not prevent our homeschool days from crumbling into disarray. After four grueling weeks, we took a breather--and Mommy regrouped.

The research, that should have started my journey, suddenly took priority. I read a number of books and searched blogs like crazy to get ideas. Then, a few months after our first failure, we took another stab at it--with much greater success. Homeschooling became all I had ever hoped it would be. After we finished off K4 (just this last week), my son came to me with this announcement: "Mom, I've got a great idea. Let's do school through the summer." And so we are.

We are in our groove now, but I learned a very valuable lesson from our rough start. It takes the failures to find success. And there might be a few false starts along the way to the finish line.

For us, everyday is an experiment, and even when the experiment goes awry--I've learned something. Like the great inventor Thomas Edison, I've simply discovered one more way it can't be done.

My encouragement to you would be this: don't be afraid of the mistakes you might make. It's a natural part of the process.

As you do your research and cruise those beautiful blogs with all those wonderful ideas, keep in mind many of them started with the same fears (and perhaps even failures) that you are facing. Learn from their wisdom, but remember--we're all on a journey of discovery.

You can follow along on our journey of discover at Growing in Grace.

Care to read a few more "rocky start" stories? Here are a few links to my favorites:

• The Rise & Fall of a Homeschool Mother – My Story
• A Rocky Start to Homeschooling
• The Mistakes I've Made